JEFFREY VEGA DOT COM

These are real texts from my friend’s mom. I AM LAUGHING...

Mon, 13 Feb 2012 23:42:15 -0500

These are real texts from my friend’s mom. I AM LAUGHING SO HARD!

I HATE WHEN THIS HAPPENS!

Mon, 13 Feb 2012 15:00:41 -0500

I HATE WHEN THIS HAPPENS!

THE COLLABORATORS OF THE UPCOMING GORILLAZ CONVERSE TRACK HAVE...

Thu, 09 Feb 2012 17:10:37 -0500

THE COLLABORATORS OF THE UPCOMING GORILLAZ CONVERSE TRACK HAVE BEEN REVEALED! It will feature James Murphy (LCD Soundsystem) & Andre 3000 (OutKast)! GUYS! ANDRE 3000! HE’S REPRESENTING ATL, AWWW YEAH!

Before and After

Mon, 06 Feb 2012 21:30:00 -0500

It’s kinda hard to explain what I do for my job. Tasks are different everyday. As the web developer’s assistant, I handle the requests we are submitted that need to be done in a timely fashion. In the example for today, we received a web request from University Union (a Campus Life organization) asking to update the list of movies they’re showing at the Student Center’s theater this semester. Laura (the web developer) forwards me that email and the location of the page on Adobe Dreamweaver, and then I take it from there. It’s all really cool and neat and cool because I know the work I’m doing is important, someone is waiting for it to be done, and it is EXTREMELY satisfying when I publish my completed work and see my updates LIVE online!

So, when I opened the movies page, I was shocked to see how outdated and poorly designed it was… that being said, I am quite proud of what I was able to accomplish! I redesigned the entire page, changed some of the showtimes, and uploaded some new movie posters for the new movies that were being added. And before you ask, YES, I did save the original page with a humorous file name on purpose because I knew I wanted to make a tumblr post about this later. :B

Before: http://union.uga.edu/movies/index_without_jeffrey_teehee.html

After: http://union.uga.edu/movies/index.html

Cool, right?! I promise I’m not trying to brag on here with my recent streak of posts about my website job… I’m just obsessed with websites!!!11!111!1

I don’t want to suddenly sound depressing after my streak of enthusiastic posts, but I do want...

Sat, 04 Feb 2012 01:28:00 -0500

I don’t want to suddenly sound depressing after my streak of enthusiastic posts, but I do want to get something off my chest…

I love the friends I hang out and study with all week, but pretty much all they talk about is either a party that happened the previous weekend or a party that’s going to happen that weekend. They talk about how high or drunk they were, or how much they’re looking forward to going crazy and partying and blah blah blah.

It makes me feel so left out.

I mean, it’s my fault. I don’t party. I don’t drink or do anything social… I don’t know why. I just don’t.

I love my friends though, don’t get me wrong. They’re the best people ever. For almost the entire week they kept trying to convince me to go our friends’ frat party, and they gave me all these logical reasons why I should go, and they’re just really cool about it, and I feel bad because I always make up some excuse to not go. It’s just not my thing.

I’d rather just stay in and watch PARKS & RECREATION all night with someone. IS THAT SO CRAZY?! There HAS to be more people like me out there, right? (PLEASE SHOW YOURSELF!)

I don’t try to let this stuff bother me too much, though, but it’s hard when you’re at the #1 party school in the country. I don’t think I’ll ever understand the appeal of the stereotypical college life (then again I’ve never partaken in it… I realize I’m probably in the minority here). Luckily I have the great hobby of comedy writing, so that keeps me busy instead. If I can make someone laugh, well hey, that’s my version of a party.

I’m a loser, I know. (AND NOT THE COOL KIND OF LOSER, EITHER!)

fuckyeah2dmurdoc: Straight from Murdoc’s twitter. OH MY GOD!...

Wed, 01 Feb 2012 15:00:00 -0500

fuckyeah2dmurdoc:

Straight from Murdoc’s twitter.

OH MY GOD! A NEW GORILLAZ TRACK IS COMING. THANK YOU CONVERSE, I’M CRYING RIGHT NOW. EVERYTHING IS BEAUTIFUL AND NOTHING HURTS!

I could write an extremely long post about how much I love my new job as the web developer’s...

Mon, 30 Jan 2012 21:45:46 -0500

I could write an extremely long post about how much I love my new job as the web developer’s assistant at UGA, but I’ll save everybody from the boring technical stuff of WHY I love it.

Basically, the only difference between what I do (website-wise) in my free time and what I do for UGA is that UGA pays me. It’s awesome! Today I did so many things on the back-end of some websites that I’ve already done before. Laura (the web developer) was so impressed of how quickly I finished tasks. AWWW YEAH!

If you thought it couldn’t get better, IT GETS BETTER! I’m learning so much. Seriously. I’ve never used Adobe Dreamweaver before, but I’ve been able to quickly pick it up in roughly 5 hours.

I GUESS WHAT I’M MOST EXCITED ABOUT IT IS THAT THIS JOB I HAVE IS ALMOST EQUIVALENT TO THE TEAM COCO DIGITAL INTERNSHIP I HOPE TO GET LATER THIS YEAR! EXCLAMATION POINTS!!!

Soon, Conan… soon.

THINGS ARE HAPPENING!

Thu, 19 Jan 2012 23:37:00 -0500

I have a lot to tell you, lovely follower. TWO AMAZING THINGS HAPPENED TODAY! Not 1, not 3, but 2!!

I just want to write an extremely detailed post right now (as how I usually write on this here tumblr thing) but I can’t afford to do that because of an important exam tomorrow, but I will give you the gist in BULLET POINT FORMAT! That’s what the cool kids are doing these days, right? RIGHT?!?!

These series of fortunate events are as follows…

I wake up at 7 AM on the dot so I can beat my monotone roommate to the shower. To do this, I have to set my iPhone’s alarm clock at 5:15 AM, 5:30 AM, 5:45 AM, etc., you know, so I can warm up to the idea of waking up early so by the time it hits 7 AM, my body will easily crawl out of bed! I hate myself.
QUICK SIDEBAR: I apologize for breaking the rule of bullet points. I realize that bullet point was way too long and defeats the purpose of everything bullet points stand for.
QUICK SIDEBAR #2: I also realize “Quick Sidebar [#1]” was no exception.
(I’m so sorry)
OKAY HERE WE GO…
In my INTRO TO ACTING class today, our first assignment was due. That first assignment was a class talent show.
THAT’S RIGHT, A TALENT SHOW!
“But I don’t have a talent.” -Everyone ever at some point, probably
We had a week’s warning before this assignment, and the whole week I thought to myself that I knew I wanted to / had to do comedy in some form, but I was stressed out nonetheless.
The night before the assignment was due, I just decided that I was going to just read some of my tweets out loud. As I lay my head on my pillow that night, I just thought I’ll look through my twitter feed and pick the best of my recent jokes.
OKAY. So it is now 8 AM and I am on campus. At 9:30 AM I have SCRIPT ANALYSIS, and at 11 AM I have INTRO TO ACTING.
I had an hour and a half to look through my entire twitter feed and select several jokes I’m particularly proud of. I had to keep in mind a sort of flow and connect these jokes together so it wouldn’t be me just reading my tweets. I HAD TO PERFORM THESE JOKES.
I created a setlist in an email (which were just the tweets copy/pasted in bulleted format) and sent it to myself. I planned to have a Rock Band microphone as a prop, and refer to my iPhone for the setlist if necessary. I WAS READY AND NERVOUS AND EXCITED!
It is now 10:45 AM. I just got out of my SCRIPT ANALYSIS class and am now on the way to INTRO TO ACTING at 11 AM.
BUT WAIT! What’s that? I’m getting a call? But I don’t have friends! I pick up the phone and it was Mrs. Kendrick, the web developer for the University of Georgia.
QUICK BUT VERY IMPORTANT SIDEBAR #3: I sent in my resume to be a “Student Web Design Assistant” for the UGA websites.
I GOT THE JOB TO BE A “STUDENT WEB DESIGN ASSISTANT” FOR THE UGA WEBSITES! (Amazing thing #1)
I am SO happy and excited. This will be an amazing experience and be a killer component to my resume for the Digital Internship at CONAN!
I got the phone call literally 10 minutes before my INTRO TO ACTING class. It immediately put me in a good mood, and it somehow made the talent show a lot less scary. I WAS READY TO GO!
It is now 11:25 AM… ish. I don’t know, I didn’t really keep checking the time, I just thought it would make this bulleted list more exciting. So it’s 11:26 AM, I’m the 4th person to go, AND THEN HISTORY IS MADE!
I performed stand-up in front of people for the first time. (Amazing Thing #2 - If you were only reading this to find the TWO AMAZING THINGS mentioned in the second sentence of this post, I guess you can stop reading now)
SO YEAH! I went up there, and did it. I looked at my audience, I introduced myself (since it’s still the first few weeks of school, we all really don’t know each other too well yet), and I went straight into it…
OH MY GOD. THE LAUGHTER. THE LAUGHTER THE AUDIENCE GAVE BACK TO ME. IT WAS AMAZING. To be able to stand up in front of 30 people and perform something I wrote, is an experience I will never forget. And, I mean, I won’t forget it, because I want to keep doing it. If you follow me on twitter, none of the material was new, so the fact that this was to a class of people who don’t know me, everything worked perfectly. The only thing I did that was new were my improvised transitions, and that received even better feedback then some of the jokes I did. IT WAS AMAZING! It was such a wonderful feeling, making a bunch of people in a room I don’t know laugh. IT WAS INCREDIBLE. GAH. I’m getting chills right now just thinking about it. After class was over some people came up to me and told me that I was really funny. MY FACE WAS OBVIOUSLY RED WITH HAPPINESS!
[BULLET POINT LIMIT REACHED]

AHHHHH. So yeah. MY EMOTIONS! I got a new job for the week (I still work at American Eagle on the weekends), and I performed stand-up for the first time. And uh, well, I say stand-up, but it was barely stand-up. It was just my tweets very cleverly connected by transitions. OH MY GOD I WISH SOMEONE RECORDED IT! I WISH SOMEONE RECORDED IT SO BAD! It didn’t occur to me do that, mainly because I was super nervous and thought it was gonna be bad. BUT I KILLED! (I promise I’m not trying to be cocky or brag… I’m just really really really proud of myself)

This feeling… this is the feeling comedians must feel when they kill on stage, or anywhere really. I really want to do this again soon, so hey, LOVELY FOLLOWER, if you want me to try and make you laugh, PLEASE LET ME KNOW. Seriously. I will call you / skype you / ANYTHING. It would help me improve, and I will hopefully make you laugh. IT’S A WIN-WIN!

Man. This is exciting. Web design job at UGA. Performing jokes for people. Things are happening. Things… are happen- *post starts fading to black* HEY, HEY! I’M NOT DONE YET WHAT ARE YOU DOING TUMB

*END*

YES! 40 LIKES IS A NEW PERSONAL RECORD!!! Weirdly enough, I...

Wed, 18 Jan 2012 23:55:59 -0500

YES! 40 LIKES IS A NEW PERSONAL RECORD!!!

Weirdly enough, I received 40 likes at 11:40 PM and my battery was at 40%. Also I got a 40 on a quiz earlier today! I mean what?

But seriously though, this is awesome. I love knowing the fact that I can make AT LEAST 40 people chuckle with one of my “character quote” jokes! :’)

The bar is set pretty high now. *GULP*

Reblog if you think Jeffrey Vega's jokes are funny

Wed, 18 Jan 2012 18:12:19 -0500

<3

Mon, 16 Jan 2012 00:33:03 -0500

I laughed so hard at this. I need to watch this show.

Wed, 11 Jan 2012 20:54:13 -0500

I laughed so hard at this. I need to watch this show.

iamdonald: Childish Gambino - Mixtape Coming soon.

Wed, 11 Jan 2012 17:35:35 -0500

iamdonald:

Childish Gambino - Mixtape

Coming soon.

I STILL DON’T HAVE INTERNET IN MY APARTMENT YET! And I can’t really do much about it,...

Wed, 11 Jan 2012 01:45:00 -0500

I STILL DON’T HAVE INTERNET IN MY APARTMENT YET! And I can’t really do much about it, since it’s all in my roommate’s name right now. Too bad I’m too shy slash nervous to talk to him, since I can’t make him laugh. THAT’S RIGHT, I STILL HAVEN’T LET IT GO!

But anyway, at least I can still pretty much keep up with ze interwebs thanks to my phone’s AT&T 3G network!

AT&T! Rethink Possible.

Everything is Different

Tue, 10 Jan 2012 00:37:00 -0500

I just got off the phone with one of my old roommates from KSU. Man I miss him. We became really close in the 1.5 years I lived in the Village. I could hear my other ex-roommates yelling and having fun in the background of the phone call. *le sigh*

I am now at UGA. But man, I miss KSU. I miss the several really good friends I had over there. They all just posted on my wall tonight saying that dinner wasn’t the same without me… *holds back tears*

But now that I’ve finished my core classes at KSU, I’ve come to UGA as a junior to pursue the Mass Media Arts degree. Hopefully more on that later.

But yeah. So much has changed. I am now a student at the #1 party school in the country, and…… I… I don’t party. *LOSER ALERT*

The first day of classes went pretty well. The campus is beautiful, and I just love the atmosphere at UGA. It’s hard to explain, but I get this weird “cloud nine” feeling when I’m on campus. It’s just something about this school that gives me chills. I’ll update you more once I finish my first week here. (OH AND THANKS FOR READING THIS BY THE WAY! I’M FINALLY POSTING STUFF ON TUMBLR, CRAZY RIGHT?!)

The final thing I wanted to touch on: my living arrangements. This is the first time I’ve lived somewhere that isn’t campus housing. It’s weird. Having an apartment and all. I love the location. River Mill Athens… it’s literally a 10 minute walk to the main area of campus, and it’s right next to a river, so I constantly hear the soothing sounds of the rushing water. It’s really cool, actually. Oh, and the view is VERY nice. It’s past midnight now, but once it’s light outside I’ll take a picture and upload it here on the tumblr. *adjusts monocle*

SO, with my living arrangements… comes a roommate. I just have one roommate. The words I write from here on out should probably be its own post, but I’ll briefly summarize the situation. My roommate… he seems like a chill guy (do people still say that?)… but… I think this is going to be a very uncomfortable semester. Why?

… I… I can’t get him to laugh.

I know, I know. Stupid right? But I’m an aspiring comedy writer. I like making people laugh. I LOVE making people laugh. From the moment I met this guy, I have YET to see him laugh or even crack a smile. I don’t know why. He is, hands down, the most monotone guy I’ve ever met. I don’t know what it is. Like I said, he seems like a nice guy… I’ve only talked to him probably for a total of 30 minutes spread across 2 days now. AND I CAN’T MAKE HIM LAUGH. He just doesn’t laugh. I’m doing my hardest to make him laugh from whatever we are talking about, AND HE DOESN’T DO ANYTHING. HE DOESN’T EVEN SMILE. I’M SERIOUS, I CAN’T EMPHASIZE THIS ENOUGH. I HAVE NOT SEEN THIS GUY LAUGH OR SMILE. AT ALL.

I am going to go crazy. I hope something happens soon, because every interaction that I’ve had with him so far has just been monotone… I WANT TO MAKE THIS GUY SMILE, BUT I CAN’T DO IT. I get that people have varying senses of humor… but NOTHING. The next post I write will be the things that I’ve said so far to make him laugh. Maybe I’m just not funny enough? I don’t know. But I will make him laugh… soon.

Phew. Sorry for the semi-long post. I have many feelings to get out. I’m thankful for a few friends that I already know here, because man… these past two days… I’ve felt very lonely. I’ve been trying to write a new joke for Twitter / Facebook consumption, but I just can’t get back into the groove yet. 2012 is so new. Everything is different.

I want to make you (yes, YOU) laugh. How can I make that happen?

Sat, 07 Jan 2012 22:27:26 -0500

I want to make you (yes, YOU) laugh. How can I make that happen?

♫ Baby, I compare you to a kiss from a rose on the greyOooh, the...

Tue, 03 Jan 2012 21:47:48 -0500

♫ Baby, I compare you to a kiss from a rose on the grey
Oooh, the more I get of you
The stranger it feels, yeah
And now that your rose is in bloom
A light hits the gloom on the grey ♫

Photo

Tue, 03 Jan 2012 21:43:05 -0500

I just posted this image on Dan Harmon’s Facebook. HAPPY...

Tue, 03 Jan 2012 21:36:45 -0500

I just posted this image on Dan Harmon’s Facebook.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAN HARMON!!! I can’t wait for COMMUNITY to return… :’)

Photo

Tue, 03 Jan 2012 12:27:00 -0500